weeber

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Spa Music

October 6 , 2006 Believe it or not, there are such things as massage and spa CDs. Thousands of them, in fact. And they all suck. But some LA spas say no to all that and play music that doesn't make you want to run screaming from the massage table.

Love Those Legs

July 18, 2006 Last month, I was fortunate enough to explore one of my fave topics -- undergarments -- for Los Angeles magazine. Although Trashy Lingerie ultimately won my heart for "Best Hosiery," I highly recommend heading down to Hollywood Hosiery, where the proprietor has the voice of Wolfman Jack and the looks of Huggy Bear Brown from Starsky and Hutch. And you can buy pantyhose that say "Try God" in rhinestones.

Best correction ever

March 3, 2005 From The New York Times: "An Editorial Observer column in The Times yesterday incorrectly cited lyrics from a Michael Jackson song. The phrase 'mamase mamasa mamakosa' ends the song 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin',' not 'Working Day and Night.'"

Goes great with red wine

August 25, 2004 Who knew that wine goes so well with brain Jell-o?

Dwarf basketball

August 17, 2004 Three distinct groups in Los Angeles call themseleves the LA Breakers. First, there's LA Breakers the breakdancing crew. LA Breakers was once the name of a southland ladies' pro-football team, but they changed their name to Socal Scorpions in deference to the current LA Breakers, a dwarf basketball team.

Fun while it lasted

May 14, 2004 Read two columns I wrote -- about tobacco-infused cocktails and the delights of mezcal -- for Metro, a crummy free daily newspaper for folks without attention-spans. I invite you to read what I really wrote, since Metro's layout staff lost about 20 percent of my copy and doesn't seem to believe in paragraph breaks.

Burgers and boobs

April 13, 2004 Before there was Hooters, there was JoAnn's Chili Bordello, which is exactly what it sounds like: women in garters and lingerie serving lots of meat.

Kitty litter cake

April 1, 2004 Today is the Professional's birthday, so we had to make him a cake, and what other cake could we make but a cake shaped like a cat litter box, replete with pooper scooper and tiny little poops? We found forming cat shit out of Tootsie Rolls incredibly therapeutic. This cake gives new meaning to the phrase "Eat Shit." Get the recipe now.

No-tell motel no more

March 30, 2004 Couples in need of close encounters of the cheap kind can no longer find solace at the Lincoln Plaza Hotel, where $50 bought eight hours. The "short stay" hotel, housed in a beautiful 1887 mansion, is being renovated into condominiums. Read all about it in this week's Village Voice.

Kantacky ¢astle

March 2, 2004 Don't neglect Brooklyn's Veggie Castle, a West Indian restaurant for plant-eaters housed in a former White Castle in Flatbush. The Castle is one of many Brooklyn restaurants that never bothered with new signs when the business changed hands -- just like Kantacky Fried Chicken.

Archives

If you need more, here it is

Selected Clips

Los Angeles magazine
Aural Fixation: a new kind of spa music kisses Yanni and Enya goodbye , October 2006

Los Angeles magazine
Best Hosiery, August 2006

Village Voice
Brooklyn's Own Heartbreak Hotel March 2004

New York Times
Where 'If I had a Hammer' Could Get You a Gift Certificate
December 2002

New York Times
Brutes on Blaring Harleys? No, Bikers on Quiet Schwinns May 2001

Metro
Nicotinis, Black Lung and Other Nasty Cocktails May 2004

Metro
Mezcal for Dummies May 2004

Earth Times
Brooklyn's Crown Heights Ten Years Later August 2001

Conference News Daily: Urban League
The Real Cola Challenge
June 2001

Conference News Daily: Urban League
Media and Diversity: Inside the Newsroom
July 2001

Conference News Daily: Urban League
Profile: State Senator Kendrick Meek
July 2001

Bronx Beat
No Pun Intended for Longwood Street
May 2001

Bronx Beat
City Bids Farewell to a Landfill
March 2001

Allstar Magazine
Baudrillard in Vegas 1997

Allstar Magazine
Girdles, Girdles, Girdles 1996

Allstar Magazine
Xena Warrior Princess Worshippers
1996

Bunnyhop Magazine
The Great Mentos Conspiracy
1995

Bunnyhop Magazine
Fun with Quintron
1997

Additional clips available upon request.