Spa Music
October 6 , 2006 Believe it or not, there are such things as massage and spa CDs. Thousands of them, in fact. And they all suck. But some LA spas say no to all that and play music that doesn't make you want to run screaming from the massage table.
Love Those Legs
July 18, 2006 Last month, I was fortunate enough to explore one of my fave topics -- undergarments -- for Los Angeles magazine. Although Trashy Lingerie ultimately won my heart for "Best Hosiery," I highly recommend heading down to Hollywood Hosiery, where the proprietor has the voice of Wolfman Jack and the looks of Huggy Bear Brown from Starsky and Hutch. And you can buy pantyhose that say "Try God" in rhinestones.
Best correction ever
March 3, 2005 From The New York Times: "An Editorial Observer column in The Times yesterday incorrectly cited lyrics from a Michael Jackson song. The phrase 'mamase mamasa mamakosa' ends the song 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin',' not 'Working Day and Night.'"
Goes great with red wine
August
25, 2004 Who knew that wine goes so well with brain Jell-o?
Dwarf basketball
August 17, 2004 Three distinct groups in Los Angeles
call themseleves the LA Breakers. First, there's LA Breakers the
breakdancing crew. LA Breakers was once the name of a southland
ladies' pro-football
team, but they changed their name to Socal Scorpions in deference
to the current LA Breakers, a dwarf
basketball team.
Fun while it lasted
May 14, 2004 Read two columns I wrote -- about tobacco-infused
cocktails and the delights of mezcal
-- for Metro, a crummy free daily newspaper for folks without
attention-spans. I invite you to read what
I really wrote, since Metro's layout staff lost about 20 percent
of my copy and doesn't seem to believe in paragraph breaks.
Burgers and boobs
April 13, 2004 Before there was Hooters, there was
JoAnn's
Chili Bordello, which is exactly what it sounds like: women
in garters and lingerie serving lots of meat.
Kitty litter cake
April
1, 2004 Today is the Professional's birthday, so we had
to make him a cake, and what other cake could we make but a cake
shaped like a cat litter box, replete with pooper scooper and tiny
little poops? We found forming cat shit out of Tootsie Rolls incredibly
therapeutic. This cake gives new meaning to the phrase "Eat
Shit." Get
the recipe now.
No-tell motel no more
March 30, 2004 Couples in need of close encounters
of the cheap kind can no longer find solace at the Lincoln Plaza
Hotel, where $50 bought eight hours. The "short stay"
hotel, housed in a beautiful 1887 mansion, is being renovated into
condominiums. Read all about it in this week's Village
Voice.
Kantacky ¢astle
March 2, 2004 Don't neglect Brooklyn's Veggie
Castle, a West Indian restaurant for plant-eaters housed in
a former White Castle in Flatbush. The Castle is one of many Brooklyn
restaurants that never bothered with new signs when the business
changed hands -- just like Kantacky Fried
Chicken.
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